Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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