your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
