he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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