he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
