I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
