I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize