Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize