Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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