My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
