i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
