you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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