I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
