$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
