I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
