Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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