I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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