i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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