my vag is so smooth its legendary
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
