You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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