Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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