Screwed.edu
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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