My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
