You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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