i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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