I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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