Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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