So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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