Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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