I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We were destined to go to rehab together
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
