just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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