I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
