Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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