What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
