party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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