Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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