I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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