you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize