it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
