Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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