It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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