If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
