Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He passed out mid-signature
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
