What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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