OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
