I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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