new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
