I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
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Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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