Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
