i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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