What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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