I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
