just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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