so explain again why im purple
no
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
