tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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