He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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