i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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