idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
