So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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