Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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