The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
